"I wanted them so much... I took them!"

Hey Guys~

Today I read from the book of Joshua. Many things stood out to me.
The Lord told them (when they were to attack Jericho)
"Do not take any of the things set apart for destruction, or you yourselves will be completely destroyed, and you will bring trouble on the camp of Israel."

Then they attacked Jericho, and followed his instructions and that intimidating place was defeated. So, when they moved on to a smaller town-- they became overconfident... in themselves. They were so confident they told Joshua they shouldn't bother sending everyone- they should just send a few thousand. However, though, humanly speaking, they should have been able to win--- they lost. They had placed their trust in themselves, because the task seemed easy, but the Lord was not with them. Someone had taken the things they should not have... so even in this little task they failed (because the Lord was not with them--- "apart from me you can do nothing").

Joshua (who had no idea about the sin) was devastated and threw himself on the ground--- mourning and pleading... But God said, "Get up! Why are you lying on your face like this? Israel has sinned and broken my covenant! They have STOLEN some of the things I commanded must be set apart for me. (what do we steal from the Lord?) And they have not only stolen them but have lied about it and hidden the things among their own belongings (as if they belonged to us!). THAT is why the Israelites are running... in defeat.... I will not remain with you any longer unless you destroy the things among you that were set apart for destruction."

All of this got me thinking... what have I stolen... or what am I tempted to steal that the Lord has told me I must not take? The things set apart for him... And what are we tempted to unite ourselves with or waste our time with, that are things of destruction or things set apart for destruction? And do I then make the connection that the Lord will leave me if I do this? Do I realize when things are going wrong it could be for this reason? Do I examine myself and whether or not I see evidence that "the Lord is with me"... for when the Lord was with Joseph he made him prosper in all he did.

I read on... for who would do such a thing? Ah!!! Listen to this
The guilty party is found... and he confesses .."I wanted them so much that I took them."
I hear his desire... he saw these things, right before his eyes... They were so easy to just reach out and take... They were beautiful, exquisite, temptingly beautiful things... his lust overcame him. In a moment he forgot the Lord's command, his mind being so fixed on these objects of desire (instead of on God). My heart aches--- for this resonates to well with me. How easy it is to fall in a moment! What is it that tempts ME to disobey the Lord? What desires make me weak? Am I filling my mind with my desires or with Christ? I will be strengthened or weakened accordingly. (He who thinks he stands, take heed, lest ye fall! And how I have fallen in the past...)

And then the troubling part... even after confessing... Achan must face the consequences... Death was promised if the command was broken... and death is given--- not only to Achan (and the thirty something other men killed in the failed attack) but death is brought to his sons and daughters. All this troubled me greatly. Why must they be killed too? Is there some application for this to me? Will my sins bring death to not only myself... but to the ones I love most? God forbid! (but then... sin affects many, not just the one sinning... Just as depression affects not only the person depressed but the ones who love the person who is depressed).

The clincher?
In the very next battle... the Lord tells the Israelites that NOW they may keep things for themselves. IF ONLY Achan had waited just a little while....

How many times has that been true in my life? (I tremble at the thought) or yours?
What is God telling us to wait for now? Let us wait... and not experience the bitterness of looking back in regret and agony, saying, "If only I had waited on the Lord! If only I had obeyed!"


---
Curious as to your thoughts, when/if you get the time
~Ella :)

Fill me Christ!

"we can do nothing better than abandon ourselves to God."

When he was in much pain... he was asked what he busied his mind with:
"I am doing what I shall do, through all eternity--blessing God, praising God, adoring God, giving Him the love of my whole heart. It is our one business, my brethren, to worship Him and love Him, without thought of anything else."

God forbid... we are often:
"content rather with God's gifts than with Himself."

"We must make our heart a spiritual temple, wherein to adore Him incessantly."

"Let ALL our employment be to know God;
the more one knows Him, the more one desires to know Him.
And as knowledge is commonly the measure of love, the deeper and more extensive our knowledge shall be, the greater will be our love;
and if our love of God were great, we should love Him equally
in pains and pleasures."


excerpts from: The Practice of the Presence of God
http://www.practicegodspresence.com/

Trouble

A question for the masses...
Do I look like trouble?
Why do people keep telling me that...

Did you know? That I love you

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lIIIxxye0hI
Oh my God is good
he speaks to me
Through everything...

a poem he gave to me... after listening to the song above. (set to its tune... though probably mixed up too... but see if you can figure it out. and hear the poem my love gave to me.)

Child I'm with you:
And I love you
Don't be afraid
I love you
I'll make you feel alive

Child dance with me
I'll make you free
One day you'll see
You are free

Child wait for me
Just wait and see
You won't believe your eyes
Wait and see

Did you know?
That I love you
Come & meet with me
I love you
I'll make you feel alive

Child I know it hurts
and nothings worse
I know your heart
broken apart
I'll make you feel alive

Did you know?
That I love you
Come & dance with me
I love you
And on this day
I will love you
I'll make you feel alive
And I'll love you
Until the end of time

I Am a Woman

I've been reading this book by Elizabeth Elliot called, Let Me Be A Woman. This woman amazes me... and her words are so strong and wise. This is a poem that has flowed out of me recently; I'm sure as a result. Very raw... not at all refined. I'm open to suggestions and can use all the encouragement you are willing to offer :) Thanks my dear friends & yet to be ones!


I Am a Woman
---

I am a woman don't mistake me for an Angel


I am a woman don't mistake me for a God


I am a woman don't mistake me for your Savior


I am a woman don't mistake me for a Saint


I am a woman

They say God took me out of man
and to him I return
with him I want to stand
Don't follow me, I am not your Savior
but, if you want me, I will be your helper

I am a woman
there are ways you make me weak
but I can, yet, add strength to your strength
as I seek the God you seek

I am a woman
please don't make me lead
I want to follow
but, you can give ear to me

together we will learn this dance
together we'll listen to the melody
Let’s take a twirl
Let’s take this world
Just take my hand, let’s see

I am a woman
my softness is my strength
in my arms may you find comfort
in my words a warm embrace

I am a woman
Don't make me be a man
I am a woman
This is where I stand

.

I Tremble

These scarlet tears
These violent fears
These secret hopes
That bring me here

I tremble quick
My heart screams high
I tremble, I tremble
I sink low & draw nigh

Lord, Oh Lord
Can you still even the heart of me
That buzzes like a beehive
And stings the soul of thee

Still being Edited, suggestions welcome :)

These scarlet tears
These violent fears
These secret hopes
That bring me here

I tremble quick
My heart screams high
I tremble, I tremble
I sink low & draw nigh
(or) I sink low& breathe high

Lord, Oh Lord
Can you still even the heart of me
That buzzes like a beehive
And stings the soul of thee
(or) And stings my mind, that bee